That is the only logical title for this blog post. For so many reasons. It comes from the Bible verse in Ephesians 3:20...
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
This verse has come up again and again in my life in the last few months, and even years. I've come to think of it as the theme verse to my life, or at least it's my biggest encouragement, if nothing else.
I'm not sure where to start with this post. The event that took place last night was so life changing for me that I need to take my time and write this so that you can understand the significance of it all. I want to document my experience so that I can always look back on it and be encouraged and reminded about God's faithfulness. I don't take what happened yesterday lightly, and I pray that you will see God's love and presence through my experience.
It's funny how we live our lives everyday going about our day to day tasks as if each little event is only in and of itself and has no impact on how the rest of our lives will play out. After what happened last night I couldn't fall asleep, and I woke up early and just thought. I let God point out all the small, minute details of my every day life that, unbeknownst to me at the time, had a significant role in the big picture. Let me share some of those with you so you can understand more of my story...
-First, we had our accident, which is what this whole post is based around. The accident was terrible; the aftermath, not so good either as far as my physical well being went; but we were safe and we were alive and our daughter wasn't in the car with us and it was at the end of our weekend away and the people in the other car were safe and alive. Amen to that. The accident itself was a really sucky situation, but it happened and it is what it is and now we get to see God use it for His glory. I've always known that that's what He would do with that situation. He would use it for His glory, somehow, someway, but I knew that He would.
-My husband and I were looking to join a Life Group in our church to meet new people and get connected with the church in a deeper way. Ideally we wanted to be part of a group that met on Tuesday nights because it worked out better for us and our babysitter. Well, we were a little late in replying and were told that only the Wednesday night group was available, so we said we'd join it because we really wanted to be part of a Life Group. Turns out there was some misunderstanding and we were really joining the Tuesday night Life Group. Perfect. We've really enjoyed it thus far and the people in our group are fabulous and we've really been able to connect with them.
-About a week ago I had a conversation with someone that initially I only meant to ask them a standard question, but it turned into something so much deeper and spiritual that I know it was the work of the Holy Spirit. During this conversation I gave them some advice for their current struggle. I told them that when those struggles arose that they needed to eliminate Satan out of the situation first and foremost, then all that they'd be left with was the Truth and they could deal with that knowing there was nothing in the way that wasn't from God.
-I read another photographer's blog recently who said she was going to pray for healing this year for certain food allergies that she had. She believed God would heal her. This stayed in the back of my mind ever since I read it.
-I was very aware of my pain this last weekend. Yes, the pain has been there since the accident, but for some reason I was very aware of it this weekend, and noted where exactly I was hurting and which movements cause the pain. I was sitting at a table with some friends, more than once, this weekend and noted that it hurt to turn my head to the side for more than short periods of time. I noted that leaning over the counter to get closer to the mirror to put on mascara or my contacts really hurt my neck.
-On Saturday night I randomly got this severe pain in my shoulder that went up my neck. It lingered over the entire weekend and into the week, but wasn't as severe by Tuesday.
-Just this last weekend I had started thinking more and more about my lingering injuries from our accident. I realized that I really hadn't prayed for healing very much, and not with much faith when I did. I don't know why I didn't, it just never crossed my mind, and I think that I didn't want to be disappointed with God if I didn't get healed. See, I've had some issues with praying for specifics which started shortly after my daughter was born. That's another story altogether but I've come to fear asking God for specific things because I had done that in the past and those specific requests never got answered and I hated being disappointed in God so I figured if I didn't ask then I couldn't get hurt because he wasn't not answering my prayers, make sense? So, this weekend I felt convicted of my lack of faith. My lack of prayer. My doubt.
-On Sunday morning we went to church and I had this nudge to go into the Prayer Room and ask someone to pray for healing for my injuries. But I didn't. Something was stopping me.
Queue Tuesday night.
I went to our Life Group get together and everything was normal. We talked. We drank tea. We caught up on our lives since we'd last met. We went around the room talking about our weeks and days since our last get together and I shared that that day was the six month mark since our accident and that I was still hurting and just wanting prayer for my injuries and also prayer for wisdom on where to go from here, what treatments to try, if I should or shouldn't get a lawyer involved, etc.
We started praying, lifting each other's request before God, and one girl prayed for me. As soon as she was done another girl interrupted and suggested that they all lay hands on me and pray for me specifically and intentionally for healing.
I have never been prayed over before. I have never felt the Holy Spirit so present as I did last night. I have never felt the closeness of so many (yet not that many at all) believers unite the way they did last night. I don't remember what everyone prayed because I was crying and so overwhelmed with what was happening, with the Holy Spirit, with God's presence. People always say you need to listen closely to God because His voice is often only as loud as a whisper. Well, last night He was yelling into a megaphone right into my ear. There was NO denying HIS presence and HIS work within me.
When the prayers were finished I was in a different place. All I could focus on was what was happening in my body. I'm not making this up. While I sat there and the prayers for others continued, I could feel the Holy Spirit heal me. There was this warmth and almost like a slight pressure on my upper back, at first I thought it was just whatever and that if it was God healing me then it would be up in my neck too. I doubted too soon. The warmth moved from my upper back, into my shoulders, into my neck, and up to the top of my head and then it was gone. In about a 10 minute span or so. I went upstairs to dry my eyes and face from the tears and I thought I'd see if what just happened was what I thought it was. And it was. I could bend my neck in every direction (there is still some tension but I couldn't bend my neck back at all before). I could roll my shoulders without a wince. Bones were cracking that up until that point had not been able to budge. I cried. I have never experienced a miracle, but that's exactly what had just happened.
I went back down and sat in awe. The couple that was sharing their testimony was sitting to the far right of me so I had to turn my head that way the whole night. Never once did it hurt. Never once did I have to look straight to loosen it up. Miracle.
I'd say I'm about 90% healed from all the pain and discomfort that I've had since the accident. I can only feel one spot on my neck that is tight and still hurting with certain movements, but overall I am healed. If you're thinking that 90% isn't 100% so it doesn't count, well you are greatly mistaken. For the last six months I haven't been able to tilt my neck back; look to the side for any length of time; lie on my side; properly shoulder check. For the last six months I've had pain in my upper back and shoulders all day, all the time. Holding my daughter hurt. Lying in bed propped up on my elbows to write in my journal hurt. Sleeping hurt. Waking up hurt.
This morning I woke up without a single knot or twinge of any sort in my shoulders. Last night I could lean toward the mirror to take out my contacts and not a wince of pain. I can bring my chin OVER my right shoulder which I haven't been able to do since the accident.
People, this is a miracle! This is the work of God. This is the power of prayer. This is the life that God died and rose again for so that we could have life and live it to the full. This is the love of the Father for His children. This is not an event that can be broken down by scientific equations or reason or logic. This is God. This is MY God. My Father. My reason for being, for living. He is what gives me purpose.
If you've read this to the end I pray that God will use my story to encourage you today. When you're doubting, remember that...
"[He] is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine"
So start imagining. Start asking.
Today is a day of praise. And all praise and glory and honour go to my Heavenly Father.
AMEN!
